tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post81117985163044898..comments2024-03-15T14:23:29.857+07:00Comments on Yukkuri Free Time Literature Service: Our New World - The Prologue Part 1Yukkuri Oniisanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09604990645032069309noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-82558672865114626532020-12-13T06:36:03.980+07:002020-12-13T06:36:03.980+07:00nice start i really liked it nice start i really liked it Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-54903017302095602018-10-25T07:57:04.409+07:002018-10-25T07:57:04.409+07:00Yes, i think its nice too.also i just love reading...Yes, i think its nice too.also i just love reading supporting characters views about the mc'sAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07963021262399760873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-16433768635242031382017-02-20T20:12:12.212+07:002017-02-20T20:12:12.212+07:00Thank you for the criticism.
Well... The prologue ...Thank you for the criticism.<br />Well... The prologue is an excerpt of a chapter of a book written from the point of view of an internal character.<br />Of course the world wouldn't be familiar to us, but it will be familiar to the supposed book reader. Also, the world didn't use meter unit, so for the sake of 'reader', the 'writer' write in the unit that they familiar with.<br />Hence why I put them there was because it was the framework of the story. Why the name:meaning dyadic way of writing? Because I was imitating the Japanese practice of furigana. For example, the kanji 一角獣 (literally "one horn beast") might be glossed with katakana ユニコーン, yunikōn, so the meaning is below, the gloss is above. But in my case, the gloss is below, the meaning is above. <br />As for the reason why I did this? I think its nice :PYukkuri Oniisanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09604990645032069309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-56732632919770243572017-02-20T11:48:17.510+07:002017-02-20T11:48:17.510+07:00That was really bad. The first sentence puts me of...That was really bad. The first sentence puts me off this story right away. Why the hell are the names bolded but obscure as hell. If you bold them like that we'll think they're important but the names make them seem unimportant idk. The cliché intro is kinda lame as well really have to tell us this place is in x area of x location of x country why. Use a real life measurement as well those descriptions are useless how am I supposed to imagine a cladar tall Wall and those stairs wtf. This was horrid to read please make it meters change the first sentence we won't remember where those places are and don't add names above the names. Now this nameless state has a name and those long complex names take time to read. Now those bolded names that are already overly complex have another nickname and since we need to remember them it makes it overly difficult to get past just the first sentence.Shelwynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01138238469055938906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-84975031604384498112016-05-17T01:16:50.370+07:002016-05-17T01:16:50.370+07:00and its probably not gold just looks like it.and its probably not gold just looks like it.Ndavis3324https://www.blogger.com/profile/05877349292297564088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-23183991738758070482016-04-15T09:00:03.418+07:002016-04-15T09:00:03.418+07:00But it's pretty eye catching right?
Also RL lo...But it's pretty eye catching right?<br />Also RL logic don't work in fantasy :PYukkuri Oniisanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09604990645032069309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-27647655628980591302016-04-14T23:16:55.611+07:002016-04-14T23:16:55.611+07:00Huh? How is gold strong? It is one of the weakest ...Huh? How is gold strong? It is one of the weakest armor in Minecraft. lolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1161586047925771025.post-167867186459020362015-09-13T17:21:18.781+07:002015-09-13T17:21:18.781+07:00Nice! I really like this story, very desciptive an...Nice! I really like this story, very desciptive and good way to start an introduction with an excerpt!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com