17 June 2015

Our New World - The Prologue Part 1

PROLOGUE 1:
THE MYSTERIOUS NAMELESS STATE(CHEMKLA)

Part 1: A Certain Old Man’s Rambling.

Near the border of Seven Kingdom Alliance(Zekrion) and Eastern Principalities(Soipora)  of the Former Rajul Empire lays the Nameless State(Chemkla). It’s called so that since it first encountered and appear in the Recorded History some 500 years ago, it had never engages in any form of interactions with the outer world whether it political, economic or military affairs. As such the name of this state is unknown, so the register Nameless State(Chemkla) was conveniently created to refer to this mysterious state.
The realm of the Nameless State(Chemkla) is not that vast. It resembles a perfect circle with a radius of only about 12 Cladar[1] (since precise measurement is virtually impossible). On the ‘circle’ circumference are very steep and tall cloud covered cliffs that serve as natural obstacle for people that want to enter the Nameless State(Chemkla) by foot. But entering by air with flying mount is also discouraged at to do for obvious reason. Careful assessment using shadows technique to measure the height of this cliffs returned value of 4 to 6 Cladar high. It’s unsurprisingly the top of the cliffs had very vicious wind blow on it continuously, so the wyvern or lesser wyrm rider will had difficulty to climb it. But this is still the least danger to enter the Nameless State(Chemkla).
 On the four cardinal directions, the cliffs had openings that measured about 400 Stapas[2] wide. Each of the openings is protected by 120 Stapas high Golden Wallthat many called one of the many Wonders of the World. It’s called Golden Wall due to the brilliant golden luster the wall gives when the sun shined on it. The wall itself is composed by unknown golden metal blocks the size of a house and is very hard. It didn’t break or crack when hit by siege weapon or destructive magic. The lower wall had engraving of various scenes. The most commonly found scene is a depiction of hundreds full-plated warriors with various arms battle against large monster the size of small hills or human shaped beings in the sky, that some speculate these beings represent Gods or deity of unknown faith.
To reach this wall, the visitor must first climb grand stairs from White Marble with 99 steps, each step is identical, with about 1 Stapas wide and about 1 Hansa[3] high before ending in a great marble floor plaza that measured 100 Stapas wide. The marble floor had various color, tailored in such way to form intricate geometric repeating pattern that pleased the intellectual mind and soothes the eyes that seeks beauty. If someone thinks taking the stairs is troublesome, they can take what can be described as a sloped marble road that is milder although longer to trek. The road is quite wide so that even 50 horsemen can easily walk it side by side while still had enough space for their horse to make a full turn.
On the end of the Plaza, in the middle of the Golden Wall is anotherWonders of its own. A very large gate with two doors that are made from thousands gems of various colors, glittering like a rainbow floating in a silver sea. This Gems Gate is measured about 80 Stapas on it height and length. The gems size is a size of a fruit that entice many ones with greed in their heart to pry the gems from the gate doors. But until this day no one has succeeded as the gems is attached by using unknown technique or magic that no known force can separate it.
What the shape of land or cities lays beyond the wall is unknown. Wyvern rider scouts reports that the Nameless State(Chemkla) is covered by mist or fog all year long. Even with the obscured sights, the scouts can see shadows of a great castle and a large city inside it. The only occasion when the fog is dispersed is if some nation tries to invade the Nameless State(Chemkla). So, some think the fog is a defensive measure to prevent spying or scouting from the sky.
From the awe-inspiring wall and gate, one can only wonder how prosperous this Nameless State(Chemkla) is. Such is the extent of exhibition of magnificence and parade of boundless wealth and glory that only a handful of nations can hardly mimic it without bankrupting their meager treasuries. So no wonder, many great Heroes, Conqueror, Emperor, or Uniter of Nations had try to take a dib on this seemingly endless wealth and write their name in golden ink of history; and failed, tragically in the mighty and prowess of the Gate’s and Wall’s Guardian.

Excerpt from
Chapter 15: The Landscape in the Eastern Side of Midzu Continent.
Places and Peoples; by Rohetodus of Mireina; Written: 649th Years of Emperor by Holy Spirit (YEHS)


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[1] 1 Cladar is about 347.4 meter
[2] 1 Stapa is about 57.9 cm
[3] 1 Hansa is about 9.65 cm

6 comments:

  1. Nice! I really like this story, very desciptive and good way to start an introduction with an excerpt!

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  2. Huh? How is gold strong? It is one of the weakest armor in Minecraft. lol

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    1. But it's pretty eye catching right?
      Also RL logic don't work in fantasy :P

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    2. and its probably not gold just looks like it.

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  3. That was really bad. The first sentence puts me off this story right away. Why the hell are the names bolded but obscure as hell. If you bold them like that we'll think they're important but the names make them seem unimportant idk. The cliché intro is kinda lame as well really have to tell us this place is in x area of x location of x country why. Use a real life measurement as well those descriptions are useless how am I supposed to imagine a cladar tall Wall and those stairs wtf. This was horrid to read please make it meters change the first sentence we won't remember where those places are and don't add names above the names. Now this nameless state has a name and those long complex names take time to read. Now those bolded names that are already overly complex have another nickname and since we need to remember them it makes it overly difficult to get past just the first sentence.

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    1. Thank you for the criticism.
      Well... The prologue is an excerpt of a chapter of a book written from the point of view of an internal character.
      Of course the world wouldn't be familiar to us, but it will be familiar to the supposed book reader. Also, the world didn't use meter unit, so for the sake of 'reader', the 'writer' write in the unit that they familiar with.
      Hence why I put them there was because it was the framework of the story. Why the name:meaning dyadic way of writing? Because I was imitating the Japanese practice of furigana. For example, the kanji 一角獣 (literally "one horn beast") might be glossed with katakana ユニコーン, yunikōn, so the meaning is below, the gloss is above. But in my case, the gloss is below, the meaning is above.
      As for the reason why I did this? I think its nice :P

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